I am presently incapacitated - ruptured my left Achilles tendon on the tennis court yesterday morning. I was just going for a cross-court ball, and as I took off I was startled by what felt as though someone had whacked me on the back of the ankle with a tennis racket. I ended up on the floor. When I tried to get up, I couldn't - there was a spooky lack of pain, but a numb sensation from my calf to my ankle. As though my upper leg had become disconnected from my foot, which in a sense it had. But after ice treatment the feeling returned, and I actually cycled home

However, at A&E yesterday afternoon the rupture was quickly diagnosed. I am now in plaster and on crutches and under instructions on no account to put my weight on the damaged ankle.

There was indeed a tennis court oath at one point.

This means I am not going anywhere any time soon, and may have to have an operation. However, there's lots to be getting on with from a sedentary position. Like a backlog of reading. And watching Andy Murray. And I can still practise the bass guitar. (And maybe even play the Moors' next gig, if I can be lifted onto or crawl onto the stage.)

I would like to assure folks I am in no pain whatsoever. Just pissed off. In fact, hopping mad.